Vilho Lampinen
@crazyostrich368
Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, someone leaves me a voice mail and tells me to call them back
Jenny Cook
@silverbutterfly601
alcohol is never the answer, unless the question is, "why were you barely conscious on the kitchen floor eating dog food?"
Juho Saari
@beautifulpanda802
I'm not ordained but I can bless anything. Go ahead and sneeze.
Ray Caldwell
@yellowsnake436
Loneliness is called solitude when you enjoy it.
Mattie Carpenter
@whitemeercat918
Who's the idiot that named them Monkey Bars? Do monkeys even drink?
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